For 12 years, my mother-in-law came to us with pies and a smile, but last Sunday I accidentally overheard what she said about me to her son behind closed doors…

I got married thirteen years ago. I met my husband at work, and we got married six months later. His mother welcomed me warmly from the start. She helped with the wedding preparations, gave advice, and supported me. I was grateful to her and tried to be a good daughter-in-law.

When we moved into an apartment, my mother-in-law began visiting us every Sunday. She brought pies she baked especially for us, fruits, and homemade preserves. We would have tea, chat, and she would play with the grandchildren when they were born. It became our tradition. I got used to these visits and looked forward to them.

My mother-in-law was always kind and friendly. She praised my dishes and said I was managing the house well. She was interested in my health, my work, and the children’s activities. I told her everything — my joys, my difficulties, and minor quarrels with my husband. She listened, nodded, and reassured me, saying it was like this for everyone, and that patience and love were the most important.

This past year was difficult. I lost my job and couldn’t find a new one for a long time. Money became tight, and we had to economize on everything. My husband was the sole breadwinner, shouldering the family responsibilities and getting exhausted. We started arguing more over trivial matters. I was anxious and would snap at him but then apologize. He would remain silent and withdraw.

My mother-in-law continued to visit every Sunday. I complained to her about my fatigue, the lack of money, and my inability to find a job. She comforted me, saying things would get better. She brought us groceries and pocket money for the kids. I thanked her and felt supported.

Last Sunday, she came as usual. We sat down for tea and started talking. I told her that during the week, I argued with my husband about money. That he came home tired from work, and I bombarded him with complaints that he wasn’t earning enough. That I was ashamed I had lost my temper. My mother-in-law patted my hand and said she understood that my nerves were at their breaking point.

Then I went to the bathroom. I came out a few minutes later and overheard their voices in the kitchen. My husband was washing dishes, and my mother-in-law was standing nearby. I stopped in the hallway, not wanting to interrupt. And then I heard her words.

She was speaking quietly, but I heard every word. She said she could see how I was wearing out her son. That I had become irritable, angry, and nitpicky. That he worked like crazy, and I only complained and demanded. That he needed a wife who supports him, not one who drags him down. That he’s still young and can start life anew. That he should divorce me before it’s too late.

My husband remained silent. I heard him placing plates in the dish rack. My mother-in-law continued. She said she had been observing our family for a year and could see that I wasn’t managing. That the children were neglected, the apartment was a mess, and I myself looked unkempt. That her son deserved better. That she knew a good girl, a colleague from work, who had long taken an interest in him.

I stood there in the hallway, unable to move. I couldn’t believe it was coming from the woman I had trusted for twelve years. To whom I had confided my problems, vulnerabilities, and fears. Whom I almost considered my mother.

Finally, my husband spoke. He said quietly, “Mom, stop. She’s my wife, and we’ll manage.” My mother-in-law snorted. She said he was blind, that he didn’t see the obvious. That she felt sorry for him, wasting his best years on a woman who didn’t appreciate him.

I walked into the kitchen. Both of them fell silent and turned to me. My mother-in-law remained unfazed, looking at me calmly. I asked how long she had thought of me this way. She answered that it had been a while. That she was just waiting for the right moment to talk to her son. That I gave her the reason with my complaints and tears.

I asked her to leave. She gathered her bag and put on her coat. At the door, she turned and told my husband her door would always be open for him when he made the right decision. And she left.

My husband and I remained silent for a long time. Then he hugged me and said he wasn’t going anywhere. That we would get through this together. That his mother was wrong. I cried on his shoulder and couldn’t stop.

Three weeks have passed. My mother-in-law no longer visits or calls. She sometimes texts my husband, asking how he is and sends regards to the kids. She doesn’t mention me. I found a job a week ago and am starting to come out of this state. But I can’t forget those words. I can’t forgive the fact that for twelve years she smiled to my face but considered me unworthy of her son behind my back.

Tell me, can such duplicity be forgiven? And how do I build a relationship now with a person who wore a mask for years and then dropped it at the most challenging time in my life?

****
My mother-in-law came to our house almost every Sunday for twelve years.
Always with pies, a smile, and words that made me believe I was lucky.
I was sure she accepted me as her own.
But last Sunday, I accidentally stopped by the closed kitchen door and heard what she was saying about me to her son.
In that moment, I realized that everything I had believed all those years was a lie.
Because what she said next changed my life forever…
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